Screw intuition! This place seems legit!
Good morning, fellow strip clubbers! I’m sitting at my computer at around 2 o’clock in the morning to tell you about my epically bad night of clubbing… let’s begin!
First stop, Centerfolds. Remember when I told you I’d get to work on the review for that club? I wasn’t lying! However, I walked in and saw about 10-15 girls, probably closer to 10, but only one of them looked even remotely attractive. Key word: “remotely”. This girl wasn’t anything special. And while I’ll continue to hold off on my official ruling of this club, I will say it already looks like it’s going the way of Lipstixx. This will challenge Lipstixx and Stiletto’s as the ultimate nasty dive club on Bourbon… so I’m really looking forward to that. I walked out without buying anything. No drinks, no tips – nothing. And no cover.
Next stop, Babe’s Cabaret. Babe’s will be good, right? Sure, that place is solid. Except it wasn’t. Less than 5 girls on the main floor (that I saw) and none of them looked appealing. So, I walked out. Again. 0 for 2. At least there was no cover.
I walked a little further and saw three shot girls standing outside Rick’s Sporting Saloon. The three shot girls all looked good. Hot looking shot girls, free cover … how could I go wrong? I walked in and was immediately hounded by one of the waitresses asking, “you need help finding a table?” Uh… no. They’re all empty, and what kind of moron can’t navigate his way to a chair? How stupid do I look? Anyway, I sit, she immediately forces me to order a drink, I look up and OH MY GOD THE STRIPPERS HERE LOOK LIKE FUCKING ASS! I was deceived by the hot looking shot girls outside, but I make a clean getaway… without paying for anything. Yes!
I make my way back toward Canal Street. Girls at Lipstixx… look like ass (shocking!). Walk into Scores, and there’s barely anyone inside (one decently attractive stripper standing outside, but that was it). The doorman outside Temptations was yelling at tourists like a madman, so I skipped that place. “That’s it,” I thought to myself. I decide to head to Penthouse. If Penthouse has nothing, then NOLA has nothing. I walk to the entrance… $12 cover. Fuck. Me. A couple weeks back I had a similar experience. Nothing decent at the free places, so I decided to pay a $5 to get into Barely Legal. I’ll regret that decision forever. Not the $5 part… the paying to get into Barely Legal. $5 cover and they literally have three dancers and no customers. Why did I fucking pay for that?! Anyway…