Revisiting Visions Men’s Club, Club Eden

So much time has passed since my last post, but so little has changed… let’s get into it, shall we?

What’s New at Visions Men’s Club?

Visions Men's ClubFor starters, the $20 dances are crap now. As many Visions loyalists already know, there is now a strict (well, as strict as it gets at Visions) “no touching” policy in the regular lap dance room. The VIP rooms (the $30 rooms) are basically what the $20 dances used to be. I noticed the bouncer in the VIP area was a little more active than I remember. Walking up and down the aisle every so often … bad vibe.

From what I can gather, this rule was motivated by profit, not some law enforcement crackdown. It sucks, though. Visions’ calling card was always getting affordable dances with decent contact. You weren’t out $100+ dollars after three dances like you were on Bourbon Street. Yeah, $30 for dances is still less than most places on Bourbon (most are $40/song), but this move still feels kinda cheap. And as much as I don’t want to question management’s decision-making ability, I feel this rule could have unintended consequences.

Continue reading

Posted in Bourbon Street, Club Eden, Strip Clubs, Uncategorized, Visions Men's Club | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Free Drinks at Penthouse Club!

penthouse club nolaOK, maybe I should’ve said free drink. Better than nothing. You can download/view it here.

NOTE: You don’t have to print it out and bring it to the club. Pull it up on your phone and show it to the bartender. There’s nothing on there about having to present a tangible coupon.

The Penthouse Club offered this promotion for this blog. As you may have guessed, they hate giving shit away for free, so this is the best I could do.

But when beer is $8 a bottle, it’s not a bad deal. (Offer valid until the end of February.)

If you feel using these drink coupons is petty or embarrassing, you’re not alone. I feel the same way sometimes. Nobody wants to feel like a coupon-clipper, especially at an upscale club, but allow me to make this plea. (For the record, it’s foolish to turn down free money for the (irrational) fear that someone may judge you for it … it’s poor financial thinking.)

Continue reading

Posted in Bourbon Street, Penthouse New Orleans, Strip Clubs | Tagged , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Saturday Night Strip Clubbing on Bourbon Street

This post will be quick and to the point. And it’s nothing I haven’t said already on this blog, but it’s an important reminder to make sure you have the best strip club experience possible.

bourbon street nola

Saturday night… good for business, bad for you.

Saturday night is the busiest night for Bourbon Street, as everyone knows. It’s when strip clubs have the most staff members, the biggest rotation of dancers, and (theoretically) the best looking girls on duty. Sounds perfect, right? One problem: the crowds actually make Saturday night strip clubbing the most expensive (and sometimes least fun) night of the week. Almost every club charges a cover on Friday/Saturday night; the cheapest cover I found was $10. That adds up if you’re looking to go club hopping, which I often enjoy. And the having the best girls? Doesn’t matter for most… the best girls are often on lockdown with the whales (big spenders) on Saturday nights, leaving everyone else the scraps. You’ll notice the best looking girls rarely get on stage during peak nights – because they’re able to buy their way out of the rotation. (But who can blame them? Making $40/song doing lap dances beats dancing for $1 tips every time.)

Continue reading

Posted in Babe's Cabaret, Bourbon Street, Larry Flynt's Barely Legal, New Orleans, Penthouse New Orleans, Strip Clubs, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Hollywood Spa, New Orleans

Hollywood SpaI’ve never been to one of the famed ‘Asian massage parlors’ that you hear about from time to time. Until recently, I didn’t even know where to find one. They don’t advertise at all, and people are usually more guarded about discussing them. My guess… most Asian massage parlors don’t have a very deep client base, but get lots of repeat customers. But that’s just a guess.

I had the opportunity to speak with someone who visited Hollywood Spa, an Asian massage parlor located in downtown New Orleans, while at a strip club. Not sure how the conversation started, but something to the effect of strip clubs being rip-offs; Asian massage parlors, he said, give you far more bang for your buck (pun intended). Strip clubs are more social places. You can talk with your friends, one of the bartenders, or with the dancers. This isn’t the case at Asian massage parlors. There’s more communication in general at strip clubs; the strippers won’t sell many dances if they don’t talk to anyone.

The guy I spoke with said you don’t speak to the masseuse very much. You walk in and the first girl available tends to you. You don’t get to see the different girls and choose which one you like. He said you can request another girl, but that assumes you’ve been there before and know of another masseuse. Prices are pre-negotiated and standard for every girl. No haggling. You get your massage, and whatever else you decided to pay for, and go. No drinks, no chatting. In and out – not stay and relax.

Continue reading

Posted in Asian Massage Parlor, Hollywood Spa, New Orleans, Strip Clubs, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Strip Club Review: Passions Men’s Club

Passions Men's Club

Google Street View of Passions Men’s Club. Beautiful, ain’t it?

We’ve all, likely, heard of Passions: the notorious, predominantly black strip club in New Orleans East where “anything goes” … supposedly. I’ve mentioned the club various times in this blog, but I had always been too timid to visit. Why? I have no idea.

I headed out to New Orleans East on a Saturday night. There’s a free parking lot across the street from Passions. Not well lit, but it’s located near a very busy intersection so there’s probably nothing to worry about. Not saying break-ins never happen, but it doesn’t seem like something that happens often or even semi-often. You always have the option to take a cab.

I got there after midnight and the club was packed. Admission to the club was $10. Cover charges, from what I’ve heard, vary throughout the week. Fridays and Saturdays usually run $10, with slower days being $5. I headed upstairs to a single large room with two stages, a bar in the back, and private rooms outlining the walls of the club. To say that the club is a bit “rustic” is an understatement, but more on that later.

There were a ton of people in that space. Lots of dancers (well over 20, and I’m sure many more), lots of customers. Now, a few things you should know about this club…

Continue reading

Posted in Passions Men's Club, Visions Men's Club | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday Night Strip Clubbing in October

the harem nola

Screw intuition! This place seems legit!

Good morning, fellow strip clubbers! I’m sitting at my computer at around 2 o’clock in the morning to tell you about my epically bad night of clubbing… let’s begin!

First stop, Centerfolds. Remember when I told you I’d get to work on the review for that club? I wasn’t lying! However, I walked in and saw about 10-15 girls, probably closer to 10, but only one of them looked even remotely attractive. Key word: “remotely”. This girl wasn’t anything special. And while I’ll continue to hold off on my official ruling of this club, I will say it already looks like it’s going the way of Lipstixx. This will challenge Lipstixx and Stiletto’s as the ultimate nasty dive club on Bourbon… so I’m really looking forward to that. I walked out without buying anything. No drinks, no tips – nothing. And no cover.

Next stop, Babe’s Cabaret. Babe’s will be good, right? Sure, that place is solid. Except it wasn’t. Less than 5 girls on the main floor (that I saw) and none of them looked appealing. So, I walked out. Again. 0 for 2. At least there was no cover.

I walked a little further and saw three shot girls standing outside Rick’s Sporting Saloon. The three shot girls all looked good. Hot looking shot girls, free cover … how could I go wrong? I walked in and was immediately hounded by one of the waitresses asking, “you need help finding a table?” Uh… no. They’re all empty, and what kind of moron can’t navigate his way to a chair? How stupid do I look? Anyway, I sit, she immediately forces me to order a drink, I look up and OH MY GOD THE STRIPPERS HERE LOOK LIKE FUCKING ASS! I was deceived by the hot looking shot girls outside, but I make a clean getaway… without paying for anything. Yes!

I make my way back toward Canal Street. Girls at Lipstixx… look like ass (shocking!). Walk into Scores, and there’s barely anyone inside (one decently attractive stripper standing outside, but that was it). The doorman outside Temptations was yelling at tourists like a madman, so I skipped that place. “That’s it,” I thought to myself. I decide to head to Penthouse. If Penthouse has nothing, then NOLA has nothing. I walk to the entrance… $12 cover. Fuck. Me. A couple weeks back I had a similar experience. Nothing decent at the free places, so I decided to pay a $5 to get into Barely Legal. I’ll regret that decision forever. Not the $5 part… the paying to get into Barely Legal. $5 cover and they literally have three dancers and no customers. Why did I fucking pay for that?! Anyway…

Continue reading

Posted in Babe's Cabaret, Bourbon Street, New Orleans, Penthouse New Orleans, Rick's Cabaret, Rick's Sporting Saloon, Strip Clubs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Visiting Centerfolds: First Experience

Centerfolds New OrleansSo Little Darlings is out and Centerfolds is in. Now that we’re caught up, let’s get to the review.

I’ll start by saying this review will be incomplete. I plan on revisiting in the future. I did not enjoy my first experience, and nothing leads me to believe this club will be anything special. However, it’s miles ahead of Little Darlings. I realize that’s not a tough feat, but this place could be worse.

As many clubbers know, Little Darlings made its mark by being the most visible predominantly black strip club on Bourbon Street. The strippers were almost 100% black, as was the staff. Centerfolds did not continue that business model and is not a black club; it’s more like Lipstixx and Stiletto’s than anything else.

Continue reading

Posted in Bourbon Street, Centerfolds, New Orleans, Strip Clubs | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment